Friday, December 4, 2009

"In order to be a survivor you have to be a victim. I'll not allow this cancer to make me a victim. I will live my life each day, one day at a time, and cherish these days as precious gifts that I have been given." VJH Dear Mom,
Well is true form I missed your birthday. Why does it feel like I am always a day late and a dollar short. I was trying to remember how old you would have turned. I guess it would be 63. December is such a weird month for me. It always has been. I was just wondering today how to make time slow down so I can enjoy the season a bit more. Tonight is your favorite night. The Christmas Concert and Cresche Display. I am singing in the choir, that is, if I don't get thrown out by 6pm. I have the worst case of the Christmas Grumples this year. I am also feeling like such a hypocrite. I scolded one of my friends for hers and here I am without even my own tree up. But I keep justifying that with your policy of up by the first family home evening in December. And that won't happen for another 4 more days. So I guess I better get my butt in gear.

The girls are doing good. #14's skin seems to finally be responding to the anti-b cocktail they have her on. We avoided the hospital. #11 is losing her teeth, ALL AT ONCE. She lost 5 teeth over Thanksgiving break! #19 is in la-la-la land. It is nice to see her back to her old self (wink*wink). Handsome Husband and I are doing better. We really had a nice Thanksgiving this year. He smoked a turkey and I roasted mine. But I was out of foil and my bird was reminiscent of that year in Quartzite, when Grandma dehydrated her bird, (laughing on the inside). My dressing was a bit to sticky. But I made an awesome triple layer pumpkin pie.

I am really getting back into my kitchen. I have not since we moved here 4 years ago. I was thinking, did you realize it has been 5 years since we decided to move to Texas. I have grown in so many ways here. Even without you. And that still makes me a little sad some days. I wish you were here so we could have gone to lunch yesterday. I would have made you a rag quilt. That is something I learned from a friend. She was sent here for a short season, to help me heal my heart. She is awesome and I know you would have loved her too. I have used her example in so many ways, I am becoming a person you would be proud of. I have even attempted to make bread. And it rose, I almost expected to wake up to the Second Coming after that, (wink).

I seem to be having more bad driving days than not. So I have stayed home, allot. I don't dare tell you how I have messed with my medication this past year. But I just get so sick of feeling like I am living behind a fog. I would rather take the good days when I get them. As far as any learning any new stupid brain tricks, I have not. Things seem to be plateaued right now. No improvement, no regression. That's good.

Well I hope you got to enjoy your day yesterday, and I can't wait to find out if there is beer in heaven. Love you Mom.

Me

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