No refund policy on the back of my receipt...

2001 or 2002

I honestly can not tell you when this picture was taken, but I believe it was a year or so after my Head Injury/TBI. After I had taken all the parenting classes that said it was not OK to feed your children ice cream for breakfast. Well guess what, sometimes we still eat ice cream for breakfast. But to this day I will still tell you that I am grateful for that bump on the ole noggin. I had to re prioritize my life. These girls were given to me, I was wasting that gift. Motherhood is such a blessing in disguise.

I realized something today with the help of #19 and #14. I am not a perfect Mom. BIG BAG OF DUHHH. They feel that they have much to gripe about these past weeks, for you see they feel like I have favored #11 over them. So much in fact that they have started an group on a popular social networking site "Save the Unloved children of the world", or something like that. I guess I owe them a worldwide apology. I AM SORRY. I am holding on to #11 with one fierce grip. She is growing up. Next year she will be 12. She enters into a youth program called Young Women's. She will start to learn the values of a righteous young daughter of God. She will be taking her first steps into being a teenager. And the truth is I am scared. Who will be my friend. I feel like I am being left on the playground with no friends anymore. I have struggled with the ability to be or not to be my children's friend versus the parent. You know what I am talking about. It is an age old controversy in the realm of parenting a teenager, are you there to be their friend or parent. It is not unlike being between a rock and a hard spot. Handsome Husband is so much better at being a parent to teenagers than I am. I am so much better at raising little girls. And the truth is there are no more little girls in my house. And this makes me sad. So sad in fact that the tears are just rolling down my face as I write this. It is crazy, I know. We are given children to love, we teach them, we raise them. No one said it would feel like this, I want a refund. Just kidding. I cherish each one of my girls like nothing else in this world. Life would be a bland without them. Something I am not even willing to imagine. I really really love #19. I really really love #14. I really really love #11. And if you have a problem with that call management.


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