Day 2 and counting

I'm not sure what I am counting to but counting helps. I like to count the cracks in the sidewalk, sort and count my M&M's by color and number, discard all even number of things, I like odd numbers. I guess I am funny that way. Monday was my first day back to work in a really long time. On my drive there I was struck with the memory of my first day of kindergarten. I had on new shoes, a new dress with apples on it and a bag bigger than I should be carrying. Today my mother did not dress me but I was wearing new shoes for the first time and my feet hurt. My Mother always had new shoes for me; first day of school, vacation, holidays, you name it. BUT here is the clincher, I could not wear those shoes till the day of the event. I even remember a wedding that I had to wait to get inside the church to put those new white patent leather Mary Jane's on (I was 4).
I felt horrible inside. Like that little girl without a clue as to who was going to be in her class. Fast forward to 1985. We moved all the way across the United States 6 weeks before 8th grade is over and I had to be "that" girl. Then again in 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade. My parents had a time of it deciding were to plant the family plantation there for awhile.
As I walked into the building I saw a reflection of myself and paused, I did not recognize that woman in the window. I fully expected to see the little girl. I called #17 and told her I did not want to go in. She encouraged me to go, like I did for her 3 years ago when we moved to TX. I wonder if it was hard for her to realize my vulnerability at that moment and we were switching roles. I hope not, I am not ready for that yet. So here I sit tonight in my big girl pants and bid farewell to the little girl inside and say hello mama in window!


Jean said…
Stopped by from MomBloggers. Hope your first day went well! Im a working momma and Texas momma too, so thought I'd stop and say hello.

Popular Posts