Warning, this post contains alot of CAP letters...

OK here is the scoop, I am at a total loss for words. Nope, Nothing, Nadda, Zip, Zelch, Zero. Well that was a few. But here is the problem. I was stupid enough to believe that if I gave a 14 year old, female, pubescent, child a cell phone, with instructions NOT TO TEXT, that she would NOT TEXT. YOUUUUUU WHOOOOOOO, i was wrong. To the tune of an undisclosed amount of cash (to protect said party) I now have the utmost pleasure of handing over to the CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW people. We guess what when I got the bill the PEOPLE IN FREAKING EGYPT COULD HEAR ME NOW. So now every time I hear those words, I am going to want to scream, evoke harm, even ya know, TWITCH. And twitching is not a good thing around here. I don't know what to do how to punish, should it be punishable, to get the point across to her. I looked it up, it is over $500 and it could be a criminal offense, technically. OK I have to stop I am twitching. ALOT, can you see me now, TWITCHING. What I really want to know is this...how does one "text" more than 4,500 texts in a month? Do they allow this in school? Is she texting all night, and WHY FOR THE LOVE OF PETE IS TEXTING AN ACTION VERB THESE DAYS? (twitching again) OH AND BY THE WAY TEXTING does not come up in spell check, IT IS NOT A WORD! I have to go before I twitch myself right out of this here chair.